Corporate Counsel and Other Really Boring Jobs
It's not often I get email from lawyers I don't know. Ignoring the proverb to keep friends close but enemies closer, the engineer in me finds it more reasonable to keep enemies at a reasonable distance -- say 500 yards with a scope and no wind.
But it's still fair game to assume that if I piss someone off to the point of litigation we usually know each other pretty well -- well enough to require professional help to argue. Here's the email:
Dear Greg,
Per our conversation on Wednesday, I submit the following:
We find Mr. most recent response to intentionally create hostility,
assert his arrogance, threaten damage or injury toward ,
Inc., transmits foul and offensive material which is aimed at taunting or
intimidating our corporate counsel. The personal attack taken was uninvited,
unnecessary and unprovoked.
Mr. represented himself as an officer "Senior programming
representative" for Blue Mountain. His response (and blind copies to
approximately 170 of our employees) was sent from Blue Mountain as its
representative. His statements and opinions can be tied and credited to Blue
Mountain. All actions against Mr. can therefore also be asserted
against Blue Mountain.
For your information, there are several legal actions available to
against Mr. and or Blue Mountain based on his deliberate misrepresentations and abusive tone.
The state of Georgia is one of the few states which has enacted a law governing the use of domain names and WebPages.
The law protects trade names of companies and prohibits their use or false use "when such permission or authorization has
not been obtained." (The Georgia Computer System Protection Act of 1996 GA. Code ANN. Sec 16-9-93.1 (1996)). We have
put Mr. and your company on notice of the abuse and misuse of the , Inc name and its'
"association to ." We have been very clear and reasonable in our
request for remedial action.
Please take whatever action is necessary to ensure that Mr. does not
continue the above actions.
I said to myself, Self, what the hell did my employee Mr. Snip do to piss this lady off? Here's his original crime: an outdated Website saying he worked for his old company! When the Legal Beagle blew her nose on his page and ripped him a new one for being both obnoxious and rude, here's part what he sent by way of unprovoked and unwanted response:
>Internet usage policys are for companys that hire morons who are unable to
>think for themselves. My employer has nothing to do with it, but on a
>personal level, I'm sure most people at my company would get a kick out of
>it. Should I invite more people to have a laugh at your expense?
Ok, he was out of line, but what do these people do all day? The guy was obnoxious, but surely not worthy of threatening the CEO of his company with legal action. Is being an asshole illegal? I couldn't make this shit up if I tried! Mr. Snip no longer works here (as you can imagine) but this story has become blue mountain legend.
Anthony, if you read this, You Da Man!
